Happy (NOT) Valentine’s Day

Alex Washburn

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Valentine’s Day? Boyfriends? Girlfriends? Kissing?! Overpriced candy?! No way!!!

February 14th’s name should be permanently changed from “Valentine’s Day” to “WE GET IT YOU HAVE A BOO THANG Day”. I mean, seriously, we all know you’re finally dating your crush. You don’t need to remind us by showing up to school with a 9-foot-tall teddy bear and a truckload of flowers. It’s a waste of money, and of perfectly good chocolate you could have ALL to yourself. Instead of spending your night on a cheesy date, just stay home. You don’t have to deal with all the crazy weekend drivers or the restaurant crowds. If you’re single and going out, you can avoid all the couples falling over each other. It is much better to go Anti-Valentines Day, and you can do it straight from the comfort of your couch.  You can wear whatever you want, watch any movie you want (That’s right, it doesn’t have to be romantic!), and eat all the ice cream and candy you want, because you’re all alone and no one can judge you. Except your cat. Your cat will definitely judge you.